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1) Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

1) Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. v. 1
Education is one of the important sectors. Some people think that to take admission in the university for the rich one is as difficult as the poor person. In my opinion, it depends on the one’s knowledge and ability to take admission in the university. To begin with, one of the important reasons is that nowadays educational system is purely based on the merit. This will not affect the admission, whether you are rich or poor. For example, to take admission in the colleges, displays the merit wise name and select the person having height marks. Moreover, some universities take entrance exams to check the person having a certain quality if they pass it, then they would be allowed to take the admission otherwise they were rejected. Secondly, the government should want to generate equality between all the citizens. To develop this, apply the strict rule of the all people. This will create a positive environment for the youth, so they start to do the hard work as a result they get the admission in their favourite college. For instance, youth of such nation has been always hard working and can change their standard of the living. Furthermore, there is no threat of the person who takes admission having not capability, after the completion of the university everyone get the job with high salary; increase the economy of the country. In conclusion, these will give the opportunity to everyone those having a skill and a knowledge not money is considered here.
Education is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in the university for the rich one is as difficult as the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. In my opinion, it depends on the one’s knowledge and ability to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in the university.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons is that nowadays educational system is
purely
based on the merit. This will not affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
, whether you are rich or poor.
For example
, to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in the colleges, displays the merit wise name and select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
height marks.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
universities take entrance exams to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a certain quality if they pass it, then they would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
otherwise
they
were rejected
.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should want to generate equality between all the citizens. To develop this, apply the strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of the all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This will create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
environment for the youth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to do the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
as a result
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
college.
For instance
, youth of such nation has been always
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their standard of the living.
Furthermore
, there is no threat of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
not capability, after the completion of the university everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
the job with high salary; increase the economy of the country.

In conclusion
, these will give the opportunity to everyone those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and a knowledge not money
is considered
here.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay 1) Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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