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01/10/2017Popular events like to football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

01/10/2017Popular events like to football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 2
Many believe organizing big sports events is crucial for normalizing relationships among states and discharging patriotic feelings of citizens in a peaceful way. I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance is based will be discussed in details. On the one hand, sporting occasions are important for alleviating international tensions. In fact, Olympic Games were reestablished in the XIX century in a hope to let nations rival each other in a calm, benevolent way when negative emotions to neighbors are being sublimated through associating with national teams or sportspersons who compete in an arena. Furthermore, watching such events as the football World Cup allows individuals who belong to different social classes and occupied on a variety of jobs to be united in their love to their team and state. So, patriotic emotions that otherwise may lead to aggression are released while supporting athletes who compete in a stadium. Thus, it is safe to say sports tournaments have an advantageous influence on an over-all international situation. On the other hand, the proposed idea appears to be doubtful. Firstly, tensions among states are caused by past wars and conflicts of today’s interests. Those issues are not going to be solved through playing games. To illustrate, the Second World War could not have been stopped by holding any competitions because Germany’ longing to increase its territory would not be addressed in any tournament. Secondly, the nature of any sports event assumes that there are winners and losers. Thus, the people whose team failed to win feel rather a grievance and anger than relaxation and calmness. For an instance, almost any football match can turn into a riot if the fans believe that a judge was bribed or a game was unfair. Consequently, participating in a big competition among countries has some negative facets. In conclusion, although popular sporting events could have a benevolent impact on an international situation, they do not essential for maintaining the peace among nations, moreover, they occasions may stir people’s discontent.
Many
believe organizing
big
sports
events
is crucial for normalizing relationships among states and discharging patriotic feelings of citizens
in a peaceful way
. I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance
is based
will
be discussed
in
details
.

On the one hand, sporting occasions are
important
for alleviating international tensions. In fact, Olympic Games
were reestablished
in the XIX century in a hope to
let
nations rival each other in a calm, benevolent way when
negative
emotions to neighbors are
being sublimated
through associating with national teams or
sportspersons
who compete in an arena.
Furthermore
, watching such
events
as the football World Cup
allows
individuals who belong to
different
social classes and occupied on a variety of jobs to
be united
in their
love
to their team and state.
So
, patriotic emotions that
otherwise
may lead to aggression
are released
while supporting athletes who compete in a stadium.
Thus
, it is safe to say sports tournaments have an advantageous influence on an over-all international situation.

On the other hand
, the proposed
idea
appears to be doubtful.
Firstly
, tensions among states
are caused
by past wars and conflicts of
today
’s interests. Those issues are not going to
be solved
through playing games. To illustrate, the Second World War could not have been
stopped
by holding any competitions
because
Germany’ longing to increase its territory would not
be addressed
in any tournament.
Secondly
, the nature of any sports
event
assumes that there are winners and losers.
Thus
, the
people
whose team failed to win feel
rather
a grievance and anger than relaxation and calmness. For an instance, almost any football match can turn into a riot if the fans believe that a judge
was bribed
or a game was unfair.
Consequently
, participating in a
big
competition among countries has
some
negative
facets.

In conclusion
, although popular sporting
events
could have a benevolent impact on an international situation, they do not essential for maintaining the peace among nations,
moreover
, they
occasions
may stir
people
’s discontent.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay 01/10/2017Popular events like to football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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