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04/10/2017Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.1

04/10/2017Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 1
Humans are social creatures, therefore we always convey our emotions, beliefs, feelings to another and influence each other's perspective and ideas. Every individual has their own perspective and opinion on numerous of different thing based on their religion, culture, parenting and personal experience. Thus it is common for people to impose their personal beliefs on others when a personality clash occurs. I firmly believe that it is impossible to control or change one's personal viewpoint. In this essay, I will discuss how I handle with a personality clash. To begin with, be respectful of other's personal belief and put yourself in their position to look at other's point of view. Seeing things from another's perspective will broaden your horizon and able to discuss things from different angles. The inability to see things from another person's eyes leads to disagreement. So put yourself together and accept people as they are. And draw the line about imposing your personal viewpoint on people. Once you analyse other's attitude, it will be easier to get to an agreement. Pursuing this further, make your point clear. Be concise and speak directly. Because speaking innuendo causes misunderstanding. Just because another person doesn't agree with you, it doesn't mean that you have to change your personal opinion. Having a personal statement plays a major role in our life. Because it demonstrates who you are. For this reason stick to your belief. To sum it all up, one's position could be different from your personal statement and personal opinions cannot be considered right or wrong.
Humans are social creatures,
therefore
we always convey our emotions, beliefs, feelings to another and influence each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other's
perspective and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Every individual has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective and opinion on numerous of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thing based on their religion, culture, parenting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
experience.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is common for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to impose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
beliefs on others when a personality clash occurs. I
firmly
believe that it is impossible to control or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
viewpoint. In this essay, I will discuss how I handle with a personality clash.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, be respectful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
belief and put yourself in their position to look at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other's
point of view. Seeing things from another's perspective will broaden your horizon and able to discuss things from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
angles. The inability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things from another person's eyes leads to disagreement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
put yourself together and accept
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they are. And draw the line about imposing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
viewpoint on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Once you
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other's
attitude, it will be easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to an agreement.

Pursuing this
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your point
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
. Be concise and speak
directly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
speaking innuendo causes misunderstanding.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
another person doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with you, it doesn't mean that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
opinion. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
statement plays a major role in our life.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it demonstrates who you are.
For this reason
stick to your belief.

To sum it all up, one's position could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
statement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
opinions cannot
be considered
right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 04/10/2017Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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