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30/10/2017You have seen an advertisement for a weekend job as a local tour guide showing visitors around your city. Write a letter of application to the tourism office. In the letter- Give your reasons for wanting the job- Explain why you think you can do v.1

30/10/2017You have seen an advertisement for a weekend job as a local tour guide showing visitors around your city. Write a letter of application to the tourism office. In the letter- Give your reasons for wanting the job- Explain why you think you can do v. 1
The importance and consideration of violent punishment have grown over the past few years. Experts throughout developing and developed worlds have debated whether the punishment can change children's behaviour or not. Both sides of this issue will be examined in the following essay. On the one hand, there are two crucial reasons that why penalty can shape kids' behaviour. The most important one is that the penalty is the most effective way. Due to the fact that when they felt hurt, then they would immediately learn that those misbehaviour is not appropriate. Consistent this line of thinking is that it is one way of learning misbehaviour. An extensive study by renowned university has illustrated that most people can memorise feeling of pain and distinguish good and bad things through action instead of colloquial speech. Last but not least, children have been able to distinctly the difference between right and wrong before it was too late. On the other hand, although there are ample evidences supporting those ideas, it multifold arguments cannot be denied. First and the foremost, memorizing violence in the early stage of life may have a significant impact in the later stage of life. The best example for this is that when they were adults, they may treat other people as same as they were done at an early age. Another downside that should be taken into consideration is mental health. Comparing this situation to the proverbial canary in the coal mine, the case of family violence has the most effect on the way of life in lately age. Finally, researches indicate that there are various methods, excepting brutal actions, that could also be able to change the unappropriated behaviour as well, such as the reasonable and logical explanation. To conclude from the aforementioned arguments, I strongly believe that it cons outweigh its pros. Personally, I highly recommend that parents give a certain opportunity to your boys and girls and hear the reasons acting like that.
The importance and consideration of violent punishment have grown over the past few years. Experts throughout developing and developed worlds have debated whether the punishment can
change
children's
behaviour
or not. Both sides of this issue will
be examined
in the following essay.

On the one hand, there are two crucial reasons that why penalty can shape kids'
behaviour
. The most
important
one is that the penalty is the most effective way. Due to the fact that when they felt hurt, then they would immediately learn that
those misbehaviour
is not appropriate. Consistent this line of thinking is that it is one way of learning
misbehaviour
. An extensive study by renowned university has illustrated that most
people
can
memorise
feeling of pain and distinguish
good
and
bad
things through action
instead
of colloquial speech. Last
but
not least, children have been able to
distinctly
the difference between right and
wrong
before
it was too late.

On the other hand
, although there are ample evidences supporting those
ideas
,
it
multifold
arguments cannot
be denied
.
First
and the foremost,
memorizing
violence in the early stage of life may have a significant impact in the later stage of life. The best example for this is that when they were adults, they may treat other
people
as same as they
were done
at an early age. Another downside that should
be taken
into consideration is mental health. Comparing this situation to the proverbial canary in the coal mine, the case of family violence has the most effect on the way of life in lately age.
Finally
, researches indicate that there are various methods, excepting brutal actions, that could
also
be able to
change
the unappropriated
behaviour
as well
, such as the reasonable and logical explanation.

To conclude
from the aforementioned arguments, I
strongly
believe that it cons outweigh its pros.
Personally
, I
highly
recommend that parents give a certain opportunity to your boys and girls and hear the reasons acting like that.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 30/10/2017You have seen an advertisement for a weekend job as a local tour guide showing visitors around your city. Write a letter of application to the tourism office. In the letter- Give your reasons for wanting the job- Explain why you think you can do v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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