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01. 11. 2017At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on the society? Is it a negative or a positive development? v.1

01. 11. 2017At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on the society? Is it a negative or a positive development? v. 1
Today a few individuals would argue against the idea the media has a great influence on the public. Below a closer look will be taken at the impact and its consequences for the society as well as whether this is an advantageous development or not. To begin with, television, the radio, newspapers, magazines and such internet services as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram appear to be shaping people’s value system by steering their attention to one issue or another one. This is a great power because citizens’ understanding of normal conduct could be altered. To illustrate, ten years ago the media mostly ignored the theme of gender inequality; in fact, for many decades it was a normal practice to pay women less than men for doing the same job. But now, when this theme was put in a light spot, it has become unacceptable, and females’ salaries started to grow steadily. Furthermore, the mass media helps folks to control actions and decisions made by government structures. If there was no media, politicians and other officials would have unchecked power. For instance, till recently public was not aware of an American military presence in Niger, only after reporters had started to ask inconvenient questions, congresspeople began to investigate the actions of military personnel in the foreign country. Apparently, without the media, governments might have acted more ruthlessly and unreasonably than they do today. Those are examples of the media impact on the society. However, there is a necessity to decide whether this influence is positive or not. On the one hand, the effect is benevolent because the society is being developed in a right direction and many painful issues that have been ignored for a long time are being addressed. Moreover, limiting freedom of government, holding it responsible for the decisions made are extremely important for functioning a healthy society. On the other hand, the media may be easily turned into a means of propaganda that is used by the powerful to distract people from really important and vital issues or to create an appearance of chaos and an impending catastrophe to force citizens to act in a certain way. Those some are instances of a negative effect. In other words, the trend has both advantages and disadvantages. To sum up, although the media may be used to manipulate folks, the benefits definitely outweigh drawbacks because the press raises people’s awareness about urgent issues, problems and does not allow a government to act irresponsibly.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
a few individuals would argue against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a great influence on the public. Below a closer look will
be taken
at the impact and its consequences for the society
as well
as whether this is an advantageous development or not.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, television, the radio, newspapers, magazines and such internet services as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram appear to be shaping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s value system by steering their attention to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
or another one. This is a great power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
citizens’ understanding of normal conduct could
be altered
. To illustrate, ten years ago the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
the theme of gender inequality; in fact, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades it was a normal practice to pay women less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
for doing the same job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, when this theme
was put
in a light spot, it has become unacceptable, and females’ salaries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to grow
steadily
.
Furthermore
, the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
folks to control actions and decisions made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
structures. If there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, politicians and other officials would have unchecked power.
For instance
, till recently public was not aware of an American military presence in Niger,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after reporters had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to ask inconvenient questions, congresspeople began to investigate the actions of military personnel in the foreign country.
Apparently
, without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
might have acted more
ruthlessly
and
unreasonably
than they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Those are examples of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
impact on the society.

However
, there is a necessity to decide whether this influence is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or not. On the one hand, the effect is benevolent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the society is
being developed
in a right direction and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
painful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
for a long time are
being addressed
.
Moreover
, limiting freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, holding it responsible for the decisions made are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for functioning a healthy society.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may be
easily
turned into a means of propaganda
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the powerful to distract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
or to create an appearance of chaos and an impending catastrophe to force citizens to act in a certain way. Those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are instances of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect.
In other words
, the trend has both advantages and disadvantages.

To sum up, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to manipulate folks, the benefits definitely outweigh drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the press raises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s awareness about urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, problems and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to act
irresponsibly
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 01. 11. 2017At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on the society? Is it a negative or a positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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