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01/11/2017Write a letter to an airline manager to find out about something you forgot on the plane during your travel. In your letter– give details about your flight– describe the item you forgot– explain why it is important that you get it back v.1

01/11/2017Write a letter to an airline manager to find out about something you forgot on the plane during your travel. In your letter– give details about your flight– describe the item you forgot– explain why it is important that you get it back v. 1
The parents raise a kid differently. Each family has its rules. It appears if we compare families living in a different country. For example, if children make a mistake the punishment would not be the same because of the type of growth and culture. The children who have strict rules cannot feel free. Because when children want to do anything there will be something in his or her mind to restrict them. Because restricted things would be interesting for children and it makes them curious, even if they are dangerous so it can be affected them negatively. However, their family thinks that it is true since they got grew with this mindset which is known as old-fashioned these days. According to that thought, it leads them to not improved themselves, which is efficient for their future and consequently they won't shape their life as much as they want so they will be unsuccessful during their life. On the other hand, the children who grow free learn anything from experience when they are young. For example, when they get control of deciding something at home that would be important for them. At best, they would find out if things are good or bad. At worst, the family would be there to teach properly. Those experiences contribute to their lives as a reward. Besides, giving opportunity makes them feel more valuable which is significant for their self-confidence. In my opinion, children should grow by knowing the difference between good and bad. Strict rules won't be prevented what they want to do.
The parents raise a kid
differently
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. It appears if we compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mistake the punishment would not be the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the type of growth and culture.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
cannot feel free.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to do anything there will be something in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
mind to restrict them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
restricted things would be interesting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them curious, even if they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
them
negatively
.
However
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that it is true since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
grew with this mindset which
is known
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned these days. According to that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it leads them to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
themselves, which is efficient for their future and
consequently
they won't shape their life as much as they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be unsuccessful during their life.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who grow free learn anything from experience when they are young.
For example
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
control of deciding something at home that would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them. At best, they would find out if things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. At worst, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would be there to teach
properly
. Those experiences contribute to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as a reward.
Besides
, giving opportunity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel more valuable which is significant for their self-confidence.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should grow by knowing the difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
won't be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
what they want to do.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay 01/11/2017Write a letter to an airline manager to find out about something you forgot on the plane during your travel. In your letter– give details about your flight– describe the item you forgot– explain why it is important that you get it back v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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