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You play sports (eg football) for a local team. you recently heard that a player of your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your team-mate. In your letter you say how you feel about the news. Ask about the treatment in the hospital. Suggest some ways v.2

You play sports (eg football) for a local team. you recently heard that a player of your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your team-mate. In your letter you say how you feel about the news. Ask about the treatment in the hospital. Suggest some ways v. 2
Dear Frank, I was very sorry to hear about your accident. I felt bad for not being with you in tough timings. I hope you doing better today and that it is not too boring in the hospital. The last week game was fascinating and it was a close match. We lost the game in the final over by just two runs and it went down to the wire in the final over’s. This probably, you were not there in the team. You used to score quick runs at the top of the order. It was disappointing for me, I could not score the runs in the middle order and I was shocked that our team could not cross the line. Nevertheless, it was a good match in the end and we had a nail baiting thriller. It is worth mentioning about the weather. It was very hot and humid. Pitch was dried up and seamers were getting the extra bounce. By end of the game whole team was down and everyone was exhausted. Let us know when you are going home and we will arrange someone to pick you up for the next game to watch. We love to have you in the field as soon as possible. Looking forward to hear from you. Best wishes Sudheerkumar
Dear Frank,

I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sorry to hear about your accident. I felt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for not being with you in tough timings.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope
Did you mean "you're doing", "you are doing", or "you were doing"?
you doing
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and that it is not too boring in the hospital.

The last week game was fascinating and it was a close match. We lost the game in the final over by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two runs and it went down to the wire in the final over’s. This
probably
, you were not there in the team. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to score quick runs at the top of the order. It was disappointing for me, I could not score the runs in the middle
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
order and
I
was shocked
that our team could not cross the line.
Nevertheless
, it was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
match in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
end and
we had a nail baiting thriller.

It is worth
Did you mean simply "mentioning the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioning about the
weather. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hot and humid. Pitch
was dried
up and
Possible spelling mistake found.
seamers
were getting the extra bounce. By
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the game whole team was down and everyone
was exhausted
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us know when you are going
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
home and
we will arrange someone to pick you up for the
next
game to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to have you in the field as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to hearing".
to hear
from you.

Best wishes

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sudheerkumar
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS academic You play sports (eg football) for a local team. you recently heard that a player of your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your team-mate. In your letter you say how you feel about the news. Ask about the treatment in the hospital. Suggest some ways v. 2

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
217 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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