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The first below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons v.2

The first below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
The two pie charts not only show the proportions of energy consumed by Australian household, but also reveal the greenhouse gas emitted by different kinds of energy use. Overall, it is obvious that the greatest consumption of energy is taken up by heating, while the maximum emission of greenhouse gas results from water heating. In terms of the breakdown of household energy consumption, heating and water heating rank number one and two compared with other usages: 42% and 30% respectively. By comparison, the figures for refrigeration (7%), cooling (2%) and lighting (4%) remains relatively insignificant. Not mentioned is the percentage taken up by other appliances, which contributes 15% of the whole energy use. As to the greenhouse gas discharged by different use, the greatest sector is the combination of heating (15%) and water heating (32%), which is corresponding to the pie chart for energy use. However, other appliances also account significant proportion with 28% only 4% less than water heating. Last but not least, the greenhouse gas emitted by cooling (3%), lighting (8%) and refrigeration (14%) was also the minimum in comparison with other household methods.
The two pie charts not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the proportions of
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energy
consumed by Australian household,
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but
also
reveal the
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greenhouse
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gas
emitted by
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different
kinds of
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Overall
, it is obvious that the greatest consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is taken
up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
, while the maximum emission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
results from
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water
heating.

In terms of the breakdown of household
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energy
consumption,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
rank number one and two compared with
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other
usages: 42% and 30%
respectively
. By comparison, the figures for refrigeration (7%), cooling (2%) and lighting (4%) remains
relatively
insignificant. Not mentioned is the percentage taken up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
appliances, which contributes 15% of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

As to the
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
discharged by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, the greatest sector is the combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
(15%) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
(32%), which is corresponding to the pie chart for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
appliances
also
account significant proportion with 28%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4% less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emitted by cooling (3%), lighting (8%) and refrigeration (14%) was
also
the minimum
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
household methods.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS academic The first below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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