Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Writing task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012 v.2

Writing task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012 v. 2
The line chart compares the proportions of women members of parliament of five different countries in Europe between 2000 and 2012. It is clear that the figures for the female members in European nations increase throughout the period shown. France witnessed the most dramatic growth in the percentage of parliament made up of women while the figures for France were the lowest over the period. In 2000, about 33% of members of parliament in Germany being women was compared with about 25% and 27% in Belgium and Italy respectively. The countries then saw a steady rise in these figures. In particular, the percentage of women elected in parliament of Germany reached a peak of about 37% in 2012 while the figures for Belgium and Italy were lower, at about 32% and exactly 25% in turn. There was a more sharp development in the proportions of female members in parliament of the UK and France. Although the figure for the UK was just about 27% in 2000, it then rise dramatically to under 40% at the end of the period, overtaking the figure for Germany. There was a rapid growth in the proportion of female members of parliament in France from 5% in 2000 to over 20% in 2012.
The line chart compares the proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parliament
of five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in Europe between 2000 and 2012.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for the female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in European nations increase throughout the period shown. France witnessed the most dramatic growth in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parliament
made up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for France were the lowest over the period.

In 2000, about 33% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parliament
in Germany being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was compared
with about 25% and 27% in Belgium and Italy
respectively
. The countries then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a steady rise in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
.
In particular
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
elected in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parliament
of Germany reached a peak of about 37% in 2012 while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for Belgium and Italy were lower, at about 32% and exactly 25% in turn.

There was a more sharp development in the proportions of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parliament
of the UK and France. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the UK was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 27% in 2000, it then
Did you mean "rises"?
rise
dramatically
to under 40% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, overtaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Germany. There was a rapid growth in the proportion of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parliament
in France from 5% in 2000 to over 20% in 2012.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic Writing task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts