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The two tables show the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment. v.2

The two tables show the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment. v. 2
The given two pictures depict comparative total guess who visit Ashdown Museum. It describes the different year of before and after reconstruction. The amount of gap is 74. 000 before and 92. 000 after fixation. Frist of all the two pie charts show off the various options to deliver the description of visitors opinion. The scales are very satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied, very dissatisfied, and no response. The first chart seems that most tourist choose dominantly in dissatisfaction, it also achieved the hugest rate 40%. By contrast, 5% people do not give their response at all. Furthermore, It is clearly makes a change of the guess’observation over their mark. The option “very satisfied” has peaked by time and reaches 35% when the previous percentage only acquire 15%. Therefore it increases 20% by a good progress. Moreover, the dramatic rate also turns from dissatisfied to satisfied. Those have similar number in 40%. Meanwhile, the dissatisfaction just takes 15% of all. Related to this, the visitors obviously represent the satisfaction consideration about this new construction of museum.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two pictures depict comparative total guess who visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
Museum. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
year of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after reconstruction. The amount of gap is 74. 000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and 92. 000 after fixation.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Frist
of all the two pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off the various options to deliver the description of visitors opinion. The scales are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
, dissatisfied,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied, and no response. The
first
chart seems that most tourist choose
dominantly
in dissatisfaction, it
also
achieved the hugest rate 40%. By contrast, 5%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not give their response at all.

Furthermore
, It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the guess’observation over their mark. The option “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied”
has peaked by time and reaches 35% when the previous percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
acquire 15%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it increases 20% by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
progress.
Moreover
, the dramatic rate
also
turns from dissatisfied to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
. Those have similar number in 40%. Meanwhile, the dissatisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
takes 15% of all. Related to this, the visitors
obviously
represent the satisfaction consideration about this new construction of museum.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS academic The two tables show the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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