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the bar charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing coutries and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990 v.2

the bar charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing coutries and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990 v. 2
The bar charts demonstate information about the figures of involvement in 2 sectors including education and science. The data is found out from developing and industrialised countries from 1980 to 1990. According to the first chart, average years of schooling in developing countries were just around 2 years while at the same time, industrialised countries reached over 8 years, increasing 4 times. After 10 years, developing countries were stilll under 4 years of schooling. By contrast, the figure of average years of schooling soared over 10 years in industrialised countries. It can be observed from the second chart, the number of scientists and techniciants of industrialised countries were always higher than that developing countries. In industrialised countries were reached over 40 scientists and techniciants and about 70 people in 1980, 1990 respectedly. Meanwhile, during 10 years, developing countries were not rose to 20 per 1000 people. It is obvious to see from the final bar chart, during a decade, there was a downward trend in developing countries, they just spend about 50 billions US to nearly 10 billions on Research and Development. Since 1980, Industrialized countries spend 170 billions dollar and increased double to over 340 billions on Research and Development in 1990. Overall, It is clearly that industrialied countries had more envolving level than developing countries in education and science.
The bar
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charts
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demonstate
information about the figures of involvement in 2 sectors including education and science. The data
is found
out from
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developing
and
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industrialised
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countries
from 1980 to 1990.

According to the
first
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chart
, average years of schooling in
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developing
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countries
were
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just
around 2 years while at the same time,
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
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countries
reached
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over
8 years, increasing 4 times. After 10 years,
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developing
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countries
were
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stilll
under 4 years of schooling. By contrast, the figure of average years of schooling soared
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over
10 years in
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industrialised
countries.

It can
be observed
from the second
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chart
, the number of scientists and
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techniciants
of
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industrialised
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countries
were always higher than that
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developing
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countries
. In
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industrialised
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countries
were reached
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over
40 scientists and
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techniciants
and about 70
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people
in 1980, 1990
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respectedly
. Meanwhile, during 10 years,
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developing
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countries
were not
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
to 20 per 1000
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people
.

It is obvious to
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see
from the final bar
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chart
, during a decade, there was a downward trend in
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developing
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countries
, they
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just
spend about 50
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billions
US to
nearly
10
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billions
on Research and Development. Since 1980,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('industrialize' and 'industrialise') within a single text.
Industrialized
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countries
spend 170
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billions
dollar and increased double to
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over
340
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billions
on Research and Development in 1990.

Overall
, It is
clearly
that
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industrialied
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countries
had more
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envolving
level than
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developing
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countries
in education and science.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
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IELTS academic the bar charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing coutries and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990 v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
221 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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