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rt illustrates the expenditure on fish and different kinds of meat namely lamb, beef and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004. v.2

rt illustrates the expenditure on fish and different kinds of meat namely lamb, beef and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004. v. 2
The chart illustrates the expenditure on fish and different kinds of meat namely lamb, beef and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004. It can be seen that the quantitive of lamb and beef consumption declined over a 25-year period. Whereas the amount of chicken expenditure significantly increased and there was a fluctuation in the consumption of fish at about 50 grams per person per week. Obviously, in 1979 the proportion of beef consumed stood at more than 200 grams per person per week, was 4 times as much as the figure for fish consumed. while the expenditures on chicken and lamb were at the same rate, around 150 grams per person per week. After that, there was a slight increase in the quantitive of chicken and beef consumption in the 1984s. In contrast, a gradual decrease was witnessed between 1979 and 1989 in the expenditure on lamb and fish. Over the next 15 years starting from 1989, fish consumption maintains stably around 50 grams per person per week. Beef and lamp expenditure dramatically declined at 100 and 60 grams per person per week, respectively. Conversely, in 2004, the amount of chicken consumed rose to nearly 200 grams per person per week.
The chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on fish and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of meat
namely
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lamb
,
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beef
and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
The phrase 'the quantitive of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the quantitive of
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lamb
and
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beef
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consumption
declined over a 25-year period. Whereas the amount of chicken
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expenditure
significantly
increased and there was a fluctuation in the
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consumption
of fish at about 50
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grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per week.

Obviously
, in 1979 the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
consumed stood at more than 200
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grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, was 4 times as much as the figure for fish consumed.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
the
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expenditures
on chicken and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
were at the same rate, around 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. After that, there was a slight increase in
The phrase 'the quantitive of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the quantitive of
chicken and
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beef
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consumption
in the 1984s.
In contrast
, a gradual decrease
was witnessed
between 1979 and 1989 in the
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expenditure
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lamb
and fish.

Over the
next
15 years starting from 1989, fish
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consumption
maintains
stably
around 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Beef
and lamp
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expenditure
dramatically
declined at 100 and 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
,
respectively
.
Conversely
, in 2004, the amount of chicken consumed rose to
nearly
200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic rt illustrates the expenditure on fish and different kinds of meat namely lamb, beef and chicken in a European region from 1979 to 2004. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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