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The pie chart show the reasons people in Great Britain had for visiting art museums in the years 1990 and 2000 v.2

The pie chart show the reasons people in Great Britain had for visiting art museums in the years 1990 and 2000 v. 2
The pie chart compared the amount of visitors go to museums for some reasons that had changed from 1990 and 2000. As an overview, most people spend time at museums to learn and gain knowledge, it is the most reason during 10 years. There was a slight shift in almost the categories from 1990 to 2000, especially the reason that people visit for filling in the travel schedules. According to the pie chart, we can see clearly that nearly a half people visit museums for approaching and researching about the knowledge in 1990, and it still hold their place and accounted for 45% in the year 2000, be the most purpose over the ten-years period. Followed by being a part of travel, it stood at over one to forth in 1990, but it decreased significantly over a half of the 1990 rate, and was at 12% at the end of this period. While both family or friend time and attending a special exhibition was little low in 1990, just at 12%, there was upward trend through 10 years, Time for family and friend was at 17% and special exhibitions was be the second purpose with 18% in the end of this report. Buying art and others are not the main reasons for people with buying art and others just 1% and 4%, these rates had a bit change to 5% and 3% in 2000.
The pie chart compared the amount of visitors
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "goes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'go' is not always incorrect.)
go
to museums for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1990 to 2000"?
from 1990 and 2000
.

As an overview, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend time at museums to learn and gain knowledge, it is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
during 10 years. There was a slight shift in almost the categories from 1990 to 2000,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit for filling in the travel schedules.

According to the pie chart, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
clearly
that
nearly
a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit museums for approaching and researching about the knowledge in 1990, and it
still
Did you mean "holds"?
hold
their place and accounted for 45% in the year 2000, be the most purpose over the ten-years period. Followed by being a part of travel, it stood at over one to forth in 1990,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it decreased
significantly
over a half of the 1990 rate, and was at 12% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this period. While both family or friend time and attending a special exhibition was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
low in 1990,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at 12%, there was upward trend through 10 years, Time for family and friend was at 17% and special exhibitions was
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
the second purpose with 18% in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this report. Buying art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are not the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with buying art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1% and 4%, these rates had a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
bit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to 5% and 3% in 2000.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie chart show the reasons people in Great Britain had for visiting art museums in the years 1990 and 2000 v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
234 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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