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The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms of the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. v.1

The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms of the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. v. 1
The provided charts show how people felt about a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand (regarding its shops, restaurants and design). Overall, larger proportions of participants were satisfied or very satisfied with the shopping mall than those who were dissatisfied or had neutral opinions. To begin with, 17% of men participants said that they were extremely pleased with the shops and this figure for female shoppers was exactly twice as much. At the same time, 45% men referred to their experience as satisfactory, which was 37%  for females shoppers. One in five men were dissatisfied about the shops and the same proportion of women shared this view as well. Moreover, 18% male and 9% female did not make any comment about their experience of shopping. Regarding restaurants, 20% of all women had neutral opinions, slightly greater than 15% of the opposite gender. Additionally, 21% of women shoppers were dissatisfied with restaurant quality and service. But, over 50% of men were satisfied and exactly a quarter was very pleased. On the other hand,   above 30% of women felt content and less than 30% felt very pleased. Finally, the pie chart shows that 62 per cent of all interviewees were satisfied with the design of the shopping mall, and 17 per cent were very satisfied. On the other hand, the proportions of those who were not pleased or had no comments ranged between 10 and 11 per cent.
The provided charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
felt about a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand (regarding its shops, restaurants and design).

Overall
, larger proportions of participants were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with the shopping mall than those who
were dissatisfied
or had neutral opinions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 17% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
participants said that they were
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
with the shops and this figure for female shoppers was exactly twice as much. At the same time, 45%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
referred to their experience as satisfactory, which was 37%
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
for females shoppers. One in five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were dissatisfied
about the shops and the same proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
shared this view
as well
.
Moreover
, 18% male and 9% female did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any comment about their experience of shopping.

Regarding restaurants, 20% of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had neutral opinions,
slightly
greater than 15% of the opposite gender.
Additionally
, 21% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
shoppers
were dissatisfied
with restaurant quality and service.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, over 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and exactly a quarter was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
.
On the other hand
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
above 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
felt content and less than 30% felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
.

Finally
, the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 62 per cent of all interviewees were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
with the design of the shopping mall, and 17 per cent were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
.
On the other hand
, the proportions of those who were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
or had no comments ranged between 10 and 11 per cent.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS academic The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms of the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. v. 1

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
238 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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