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The plan below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. v.3

The plan below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. v. 3
The maps illustrate the changes in the renovation plan of a sports center in a university. Overall, it is clear that there are remarkable improvements in the construction of new facilities and the relocation of some features inside the sports center. First of all, the pool in the center will remain unchanged, together with the reception in front of it, the changing room as well as the seating area on the left and the right of the pool. The first noticeable development is the expansion of the gym in the north of the center. Then, the outdoor courts on the right will be demolished to make space for a sports hall and two dance studios. Meanwhile, outdoor courts which are located on the left also be destroyed to make way for a leisure pool for students. Additionally, two changing rooms will be built in the southwest and southeast corners of the center. Finally, the university' s sports center will also provide students with food, drink and sports equipment by the construction of a café and a sports shop on two opposite sides of the entrance.
The maps illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the renovation plan of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center in a university.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are remarkable improvements in the construction of new facilities and the relocation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
features inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the pool in the center will remain unchanged, together with the reception in front of it, the changing room
as well
as the seating area on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
and the right of the pool.

The
first
noticeable development is the expansion of the gym in the north of the center. Then, the outdoor courts on the right will
be demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
space for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
hall and two dance studios. Meanwhile, outdoor courts which
are located
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for a leisure pool for students.
Additionally
, two changing rooms will
be built
in the southwest and southeast corners of the center.
Finally
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
university&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center will
also
provide students with food, drink and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipment by the construction of a café and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
shop on two opposite sides of the entrance.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The plan below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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