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The table show the results of surveys in a European country, carried out in three different years. Percentage of respondents expressing interest in certain sports v.2

The table show the results of surveys in a European country, carried out in three different years. Percentage of respondents expressing interest in certain sports v. 2
The table compares the percentage of people interested in different sports in Europe in three years, namely 1999, 2004 and 2009. In general, there were significant changes in the proportion of respondents interest in various sports, except for swimming and tennis. In particular, the figure for football was highest in comparison with any other sports over the period shown. In 1999, 54% of people were interested in football, more than 22% and 30% compared to cycling and tennis orderly. At the same time, the percentage of people interested in swimming stood at 10%, while the figures for volleyball and rugby were lower, at the same percentage (8%). Between 1999 and 2009, the UK saw a significant fall of 2% in the proportion of respondents interested in football and it continued to decline by 2% at the end of the period. Similarly, that of cycling had a similar trend, with the figure decreasing to 28%; however, this figure rose to 30% in 2009. On the other hand, those of volleyball and rugby increased to 13% and 17% respectively from 1999 to 2009. Finally, the figures for tennis and swimming remained almost unchanged in the same period.
The table compares the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports in Europe in three years,
namely
1999, 2004 and 2009.

In general
, there were significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the proportion of respondents interest in various sports,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
swimming and tennis.
In particular
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for football was highest
in comparison
with any other sports over the period shown.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1999, 54% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in football, more than 22% and 30% compared to cycling and tennis orderly. At the same time, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in swimming stood at 10%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for volleyball and rugby were lower, at the same percentage (8%).

Between 1999 and 2009, the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant fall of 2% in the proportion of respondents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in football and it continued to decline by 2% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
Similarly
, that of cycling had a similar trend, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
decreasing to 28%;
however
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
rose to 30% in 2009.

On the other hand
, those of volleyball and rugby increased to 13% and 17%
respectively
from 1999 to 2009.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for tennis and swimming remained almost unchanged in the same period.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The table show the results of surveys in a European country, carried out in three different years. Percentage of respondents expressing interest in certain sports v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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