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The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. v.4

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. v. 4
The table shows daily sales at a restaurant in the downtown business district during an October week. The data is split into two parts, first being sale generated for lunch and second for dinner. At the onset, the sale revenue generated during dinner is more than that of lunch and sales amount during weekends is lower when compared to average revenue earned during a typical weekday. The week starts on Monday with revenue of 2400 dollars for the lunch and 3623 for dinner which is more than 50% of revenue realised during the lunchtime. During lunch hours the revenue seems to be showing an increasing trend and reached its peak on Wednesday with $2595. It crashed from there to $2375 on Thursday but regain momentum on Friday with a closing figure of $2500. On the other hand revenue during lunch hours seems to be dwindling throughout the week. Showing an increase on Tuesday and then a fall on Wednesday. But it closed its week with the highest revenue of $4350 on Friday. Weekends tells a different story altogether, revenue which was hovering around $2400 for lunch and around $3600 for dinner, crashed to its lowest point on Sunday with disappointing figures of $1550 & $2450 for lunch and dinner respectively.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
daily
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sales
at a restaurant in the downtown business district during an October
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week
. The data
is split
into two parts,
first
being
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sale
generated for lunch and second for dinner.

At the onset, the
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sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
generated during
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dinner
is more than that of lunch and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
amount during weekends is lower when compared to average
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revenue
earned during a typical weekday.

The
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week
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
on Monday with
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revenue
of 2400 dollars for the lunch and 3623 for
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dinner
which is more than 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
during the lunchtime. During lunch hours the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
seems to be showing an increasing trend and reached its peak on Wednesday with $2595. It crashed from there to $2375 on Thursday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
regain momentum on Friday with a closing figure of $2500.

On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
during lunch hours seems to be dwindling throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. Showing an increase on Tuesday and then a fall on Wednesday.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it closed its
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week
with the highest
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revenue
of $4350 on Friday. Weekends
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tells
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
story altogether,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
which was hovering around $2400 for lunch and around $3600 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
, crashed to its lowest point on Sunday with disappointing figures of $1550 & $2450 for lunch and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. v. 4

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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