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The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. v.4

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. v. 4
The table presents data regarding the poor families of different household types in Australia in 1999. Generally speaking, 11% of all Australian households lived in poverty in 1999, and among them, sole parents and singles without any child were the highest in percentages that lived in hardship. According to the given data, more than 1. 8 million families in Australia lived in economic misfortune in 1999 that formed 11% of the total households. Among them, around 50 thousand poor families came from both the single aged person and aged couple type families who formed 6% and 4% of the total of that family types. Sole parents and singles without children formed the largest percentage of poor families and their percentages were consecutively 21% and 19% of their family types. The highest percentage of poor families was from sole parents and the highest number of the needy family was from couples with children type. Comparatively, couple with no child had less poverty percentage than the single with no children family types. It is obvious that senior Austrlains suffered less from poverty than the sole parents and single persons with no child.
The table presents data regarding the
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poor
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families
of
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different
household
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types
in Australia in 1999.

Generally
speaking, 11% of all Australian households
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lived
in poverty in 1999, and among them,
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sole
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parents
and singles without any child were the highest in
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percentages
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in hardship.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, more than 1. 8 million
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families
in Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in economic misfortune in 1999 that formed 11% of the total households. Among them, around 50 thousand
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poor
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families
came from both the
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single
aged person and aged couple
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type
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families
who formed 6% and 4% of the total of that
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family
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types
.
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Sole
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parents
and singles without children formed the largest
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percentage
of
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poor
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families
and their
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percentages
were
consecutively
21% and 19% of their
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family
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types
. The highest
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percentage
of
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
was from
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sole
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parents
and the highest number of the needy
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family
was from couples with children
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type
.
Comparatively
, couple with no child had less poverty
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percentage
than the
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single
with no children
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family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
. It is obvious that senior
Possible spelling mistake found.
Austrlains
suffered less from poverty than the
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sole
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parents
and
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single
persons with no child.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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