Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The table below shows the percentage of journey by different means in 4 countries and the bar graph shows the reasons for Canadian people to use a car to reach their workplace. v.2

The table below shows the percentage of journey by different means in 4 countries and the bar graph shows the reasons for Canadian people to use a car to reach their workplace. v. 2
The table compares the types of transports used in four countries – Canada, Belgium, Germany and Netherlands while the bar graph presents data why Canadians prefer personal cars to reach their offices. Getting back to the details, cars are the most preferred mode of transportations in all the four given countries and the percentages of tours made by citizens in these countries by cars ranged from 47 in Netherlands and 90 in Canada. In Netherlands, a high proportion of trips are made by bicycle, more than one-fourth, and on foot, 18%. The highest percentage of public transport is used by German and that comprise 18% of their total journey. The bar chart, on the other hand, explains why Canadians prefer cars to commute to their office. Interestingly, the majority of the Canadians (38%) use cars to reach offices since they do not have any alternative. A sizable percentage said using cars is more convenient (12%). Other factors listed seems like more related to people’s need than preference as working at night shift and work related needs.
The table compares the types of transports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in four countries
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Canada, Belgium, Germany and Netherlands while the bar graph presents data why Canadians prefer personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to reach their offices.

Getting back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are the most preferred mode of transportations in all the four
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
countries and the percentages of tours made by citizens in these countries by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
ranged from 47
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Netherlands".
in Netherlands
and 90 in Canada.
A determiner is probably missing here: "In the Netherlands".
In Netherlands
, a high proportion of trips
are made
by bicycle, more than one-fourth, and on foot, 18%. The highest percentage of public transport is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by German and that comprise 18% of their total journey.

The bar chart,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why Canadians prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to commute to their office.
Interestingly
, the majority of the Canadians (38%)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to reach offices since they do not have any alternative. A sizable percentage said using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is more convenient (12%). Other factors listed seems like more related to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s need than preference as working at night shift and work related needs.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The table below shows the percentage of journey by different means in 4 countries and the bar graph shows the reasons for Canadian people to use a car to reach their workplace. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts