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The table below shows the number of medals won by the top countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games. v.2

The table below shows the number of medals won by the top countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games. v. 2
The tabular chart highlights the information about the quality of medals attainted in London Olympic Games, during the year 2012 and participated top ten nations. Overall, it is clearly seen that the highes medalswon by United State, and the lowest medals achieved by Hungary in the given time period. To begin with, United States was at the first position because that country achieved maximum medals, whereas China and Russia were won equal number of medals (82). Inaddition, Great Britain had been obtained 29 gold medals, and 19 Bronze medals in the London Olympic Games. Moreover, Germany and France were attainted similar number of gold medals (88), and South Korea was won 8 silver medals in 2012. Apart from all that, Italy and Hungary were obtained 28 and 17 total medals in the Olympic Games. Furthermore, Australia had been won gold medals (7), silvers (16) and Bronze (12) in 2012 respectively.
The tabular chart highlights the information about the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
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attainted
in London Olympic Games, during the year 2012 and participated top ten nations.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "highs", the plural form of the noun 'high'?
highes
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medalswon
by United State, and the lowest
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medals
achieved by Hungary in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, United States was at the
first
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that country achieved maximum
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medals
, whereas China and Russia
were won
equal number of
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medals
(82).
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inaddition
, Great Britain had
been obtained
29 gold
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medals
, and 19 Bronze
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medals
in the London Olympic Games.
Moreover
, Germany and France were
Possible spelling mistake found.
attainted
similar number of gold
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medals
(88), and South Korea
was won
8 silver
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medals
in 2012.

Apart from all that, Italy and Hungary
were obtained
28 and 17 total
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medals
in the Olympic Games.
Furthermore
, Australia had
been won
gold
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medals
(7), silvers (16) and Bronze (12) in 2012
respectively
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS academic The table below shows the number of medals won by the top countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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