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the table below show the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. . Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below. v.2

the table below show the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. . Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 2
The pie chart compares of imprisonment in Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States and Canada 1930 to 1980. Overall, it can be seen that, the higher rules of lookup in US and Canada. Data is fluctuated. Decide from Britain had lower imprisonment but steadily peak. Beginning in Britain 1930 witnessed a gradual rise in the number of penitentiary around 29 to 83 in 1980. Moved in Australia countries between 1940-1960 slammer at a fairly similar level between round 45 until 50, and amount of cage and 1940 to 1950 the value of circa 54. Then, both 1960 to 1970 prison in New Zealand remained constant of around 62. which the last year rose amount of 84. Between in 1930 to 1940 there was plunged of deviation to point 50. In the next year, had a slight a dip total of 50 to 48. The C in New Zealand, Australia and Great Britain had stay constant at 54 in 1970. in contrast, US in 1930 stood at 100 and grown gradual of 130 in 1940. Over following three years, there was fall to 95. Although, in 1980 reach a though of 130. The last Canada which in 1940 climb of 125 from 100. Then hit a low of 82 in 1970. Accompaniment next year napped climb steadily at 90. Both 1940 and 1960 in 5 nations which have a similar pattern of detention.
The pie chart compares of imprisonment in Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States and Canada 1930 to 1980.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of lookup in US and Canada. Data
is fluctuated
. Decide from Britain had lower imprisonment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
steadily
peak.

Beginning in Britain 1930 witnessed a gradual rise in the number of penitentiary around 29 to 83 in 1980.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Moved
in Australia countries between 1940-1960 slammer at a
fairly
similar level between round 45 until 50, and amount of cage and 1940 to 1950 the value of circa 54. Then, both 1960 to 1970 prison in New Zealand remained constant of around 62.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
rose amount of 84. Between in 1930 to 1940 there
was plunged
of deviation to point 50. In the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, had a slight a dip total of 50 to 48. The C in New Zealand, Australia and Great Britain had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "staid", "stayed".
stay
constant at 54 in 1970.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
contrast, US in 1930 stood at 100 and grown gradual of 130 in 1940. Over following three years, there was fall to 95. Although, in 1980 reach
The phrase 'a though of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a though of
130. The last Canada which in 1940 climb of 125 from 100. Then hit a low of 82 in 1970. Accompaniment
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
napped climb
steadily
at 90. Both 1940 and 1960 in 5 nations which have a similar pattern of detention.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
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IELTS academic the table below show the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. . Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
233 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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