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The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v.2

The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 2
The bar chart depicts the number of imprisonment measured in thousands from 1930 to 1980 in five respective countries which are the Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States, and Canada. Based on the chart, it can be seen that Great Britain showed an increasing trend in term of the number of imprisonment over the 50 years. It showed a dramatic rise from 1930 to 1980 with the figure recorded initially at 30 thousands in 1930 and in 1980, the figure was almost tripled to below 90 thousands. As for Australia, the number of imprisonment was fluctuated over the years from nearly 70 thousands in 1930 to above 50 thousands in 1980. Another country, New Zealand, showed a dramatic fall in 1940 from approximately 100 thousands in 1930 to above 50 thousands in 1940. This was a doubled fall and it remained constant in 1950 before rising back to around 80 thousands in 1980. The United States reflected a similar pattern as the Australia in which its figures fluctuated over the years and reached a peak in 1980. The initial figure showed in the chart was about 100 thousands in 1930 and by 1980, the number of imprisonment arouse significantly to about 140 thousands in 1980. Last but not least, the trend of Canada in term of the number of imprisonment was a downward trend with a little bit of fluctuation between 1940 and 1970. There was a quarter drop from 1930 to 1980 in which the figures were 120 thousands and above 90 thousands respectively.
The bar chart depicts the
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number
of
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imprisonment
measured in thousands from 1930 to 1980 in five respective countries which are the Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States, and Canada.

Based on the chart, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Great Britain
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showed
an increasing trend in term of the
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number
of
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imprisonment
over the 50 years. It
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showed
a dramatic rise from 1930 to 1980 with the
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figure
recorded
initially
at 30 thousands in 1930 and in 1980, the
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figure
was almost tripled to below 90 thousands. As for Australia, the
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number
of
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imprisonment
was fluctuated
over the years from
nearly
70 thousands in 1930 to above 50 thousands in 1980. Another country, New Zealand,
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showed
a dramatic fall in 1940 from approximately 100 thousands in 1930 to above 50 thousands in 1940. This was a doubled fall and it remained constant in 1950
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before
rising back to around 80 thousands in 1980. The United States reflected a similar pattern as the Australia in which its
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figures
fluctuated over the years and reached a peak in 1980. The initial
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figure
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showed
in the chart was about 100 thousands in 1930 and by 1980, the
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number
of
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imprisonment
arouse
significantly
to about 140 thousands in 1980. Last
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but
not least, the trend of Canada in term of the
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number
of
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imprisonment
was a downward trend with a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of fluctuation between 1940 and 1970. There was a quarter drop from 1930 to 1980 in which the
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figures
were 120 thousands and above 90 thousands
respectively
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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