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The table below shows the average annual percentages of water pollution I four large cities in 2003. Summarize the following information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The table below shows the average annual percentages of water pollution I four large cities in 2003. Summarize the following information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v. 2
The table reveals the water pollution in four big cities by major pollutants of yearly average percentage in 2003. According to table most cities polluted by domestic sewage. Sao Paulo is the highest polluted city by their own domestic sewage, it is about 65%. Tokyo was the lowest polluted city which was 23% only and other two cities are almost middle percentages. IN case of by pesticides pollution. Tokyo city was most pollute place 31% and lowest was Sao Paulo 9%. In term of polluted by erosion and phosphates in detergents New York is the highest place almost 56% and lowest city was Taipei. Tokyo was second highest polluted city by those type of pollution. It is about 46% in total and second lowest city was Sao Paulo.
The table reveals the water pollution in four
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big
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cities
by major pollutants of yearly average percentage in 2003.

According to table most
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cities
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polluted
by domestic sewage.
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
is the highest
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polluted
city by their
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own
domestic sewage, it is about 65%. Tokyo was the
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lowest
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polluted
city which was 23%
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only
and other two
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cities
are almost middle percentages. IN case of by
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "pesticides'" or "pesticide's"?
pesticides
pollution. Tokyo city was most pollute place 31% and
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lowest
was
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
9%. In term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polluted
by erosion and phosphates in detergents New York is the highest place almost 56% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
city was Taipei.

Tokyo was second highest
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polluted
city by those type of pollution. It is about 46% in total and second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
city was
'Sao Paulo' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "São Paulo"
Sao Paulo
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS academic The table below shows the average annual percentages of water pollution I four large cities in 2003. Summarize the following information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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