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The graph below shows the types of transport used by tourists who visited New Zealand from five countries in 2004 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The graph below shows the types of transport used by tourists who visited New Zealand from five countries in 2004
The rendered chart illustrates the percentage of tourists from British, German, japan, korean, Australia, who used different mode of transport when they visited new Zealand in the year 2004. Overall, it is clear that japan preferred air travel the most, whilst the other given countries used car the most. At the fleeting glance, it is immensely clear that 60% British and approximately 52%, 50%, 45% German, korean, Australia tourist used car to visit various places in NewZaeland. The least proportion of japanese tourist about a quarater(25%) used the car to travel around NewZaeland. Tourists from japan were most fond of air travel. Roughly 55% japanese tourist used air transport to travel within NewZaeland. Air transport used by 35% British, 30% Korean and 25% German tourists. By contrast merely 11% Australians used air transport. Probing further, similar percentage of (20%) British and German used the coach, this proportion double in case of Koreans(40%). Almost 52% used by japan tourists. Only 8% tourists used in Australian, which was the least. 48% german tourists and 35% british tourist used ferry. The tourists from japan, korea and Australia were less than 15% in each case, who uses ferry as a mean of transport.
The rendered chart illustrates the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from British, German,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
,
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korean
, Australia, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
when they visited
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new Zealand
in the year 2004.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
the most, whilst the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
car the most.

At the fleeting glance, it is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that 60% British and approximately 52%, 50%, 45% German,
Possible spelling mistake found.
korean
, Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
car to visit various places in
Possible spelling mistake found.
NewZaeland
. The least proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
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tourist
about a
Possible spelling mistake found.
quarater
(25%)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the car to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
around
Possible spelling mistake found.
NewZaeland
.
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Tourists
from
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japan
were most fond of
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air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. Roughly 55%
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
within
Possible spelling mistake found.
NewZaeland
.
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Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by 35% British, 30% Korean and 25% German
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tourists
. By contrast
merely
11% Australians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
transport.

Probing
further
, similar percentage of (20%) British and German
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the coach, this proportion double in case of Koreans(40%). Almost 52%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
8%
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tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Australian, which was the least. 48%
Possible spelling mistake found.
german
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tourists
and 35%
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
ferry. The
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tourists
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
korea
and Australia were less than 15% in each case, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
ferry as a mean of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The graph below shows the types of transport used by tourists who visited New Zealand from five countries in 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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