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The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981. v.1

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981. v. 1
The given data shows the number of children born to 40-44 years old women in Australia for 4 different years. The number of women from 40- 44 years old who had either one child or none, increased over time while this number decreased for the women of the same age group who had two or more children. In 1981, the percentage of women in 40-44 years age group who has no children was 8. 5% and in 1986 this percentage increased slightly and reached to 9. 7%. The women of the same age group with one child were 7. 6% in 1981 and reached to 8. 7% 5 years later. The percentages of women who fall in the same age category with 2-4 and more children were much higher (approximately 28%). In 1996 and 2006 (with a 10 years interval) the percentage reached to over 15% for childless women while it reached to 13% for women with 1 child. The percentage of women with 2 children had very little change while the percentage for three of four children decreased over time. In summary, the women from 40-44 years old had more children initially and this percentage decreased over time.
The
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given
data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of
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children
born to 40-44 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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women
in Australia for 4
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different
years. The number of
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women
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 40 to 44"?
from 40- 44
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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who
had either one child or none, increased
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over
time while this number decreased for the
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women
of the same
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age
group
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who
had two or more children.

In 1981, the
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percentage
of
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women
in 40-44 years
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age
group
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who
has no
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children
was 8. 5% and in 1986 this
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percentage
increased
slightly
and
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reached
to 9. 7%. The
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women
of the same
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age
group with one child were 7. 6% in 1981 and
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reached
to 8. 7% 5 years later. The
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percentages
of
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women
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who
fall in the same
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age
category with 2-4 and more
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children
were much higher (approximately 28%).

In 1996 and 2006 (with a 10 years interval) the
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percentage
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reached
to
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over
15% for childless
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women
while it
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reached
to 13% for
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women
with 1 child. The
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percentage
of
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women
with 2
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children
had
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
while the
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percentage
for three of four
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children
decreased
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over
time.

In summary, the
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women
from 40-44 years
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old
had more
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children
initially
and this
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percentage
decreased
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over
time.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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