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The table below gives information about favourite pastimes in different countries. v.1

The table below gives information about favourite pastimes in different countries. v. 1
The given table data shows the favourite pastime activities of 30 to 50 years old people’s in eight different countries. As is observed from the provided information, watching Television is the most popular leisure activity of the majority of the people and based on countries, the interests vary to a great deal. According to the given figures, Watching TV is the most popular pastime activity among the 30 to 50 years old people in Canada, Australia and the USA. The people of these three countries who are between 30 to 50 years old spent their 60-65 of past time watching TV. Korean, Japanese and Chinese people of this age group prefer to read books while listening music is most popular among the people of this age group in the USA. Participating in sports is higher in Korea, China, Australia, USA, and Canada than other countries. Interestingly Sleeping and going to the beach are two least preferred activities and English citizens of this age group spend their pastime mostly by reading, sleeping and spending time in their hobbies. No data apart from reading is given for the Japanese people and French people prefer to read than any other activity. Sleeping is least popular in Canada and the USA where only 2% people in this age group spend their leisure time sleeping.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
pastime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of 30 to 50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
in eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. As
is observed
from the provided information, watching Television is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the interests vary to a great deal.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
figures, Watching TV is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
pastime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
among the 30 to 50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Canada, Australia and the USA. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of these three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who are
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 30 and 50".
between 30 to 50
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
spent their 60-65 of
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
watching TV. Korean, Japanese and Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
prefer to read books while listening music is most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in the USA. Participating in sports is higher in Korea, China, Australia, USA, and Canada than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Interestingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sleeping
and going to the beach are two least preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and English citizens of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
spend their pastime
mostly
by reading,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
and spending time in their hobbies. No data apart from reading is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to read than any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sleeping
is least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
in Canada and the USA where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
spend their leisure time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeping
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below gives information about favourite pastimes in different countries. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
220 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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