Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. v.1

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. v. 1
The given pie charts show data on world population, the spending of people in basic needs and their share of resource consumption. As is presented in the graph, people of the world spent most of their amount for their foods and more than half of the population lives in Asia whereas more than half of the resources are consumed by the USA and European people. According to the first pie chart, people of the world on an average spent 24% on foods. In clothing, they spent 6% while this percentage is double for housing and triple for the transport. The remaining 40% is the combination of other categories for spending. The second pie chart shows that more than half of the world populations live in Asia continent while Europe & America have both only 14% of the total population. One-tenth of the world population lives in Africa and rest of the 5% people live in other places of the world. Finally, the third pie chart shows that though that 60% of world resources are consumed by the population of USA and Europe though their percentage is only 28% in total. The remaining 40% resources are shared among the rest of the 72% world population of other regions of the world.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
data on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the spending of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in basic needs and their share of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
consumption. As
is presented
in the graph,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
spent most of their amount for their foods and more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in Asia whereas more than half of the resources
are consumed
by the USA and European
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

According to the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
on an average spent 24% on foods. In clothing, they spent 6% while this percentage is double for housing and triple for the transport. The remaining 40% is the combination of other categories for spending. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in Asia continent while Europe & America have both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. One-tenth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in Africa and rest of the 5%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in other places of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Finally
, the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that though that 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
resources
are consumed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
and Europe though their percentage is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
28% in total. The remaining 40% resources
are shared
among the rest of the 72%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of other regions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS academic The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts