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The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. v.3

The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. v. 3
The line graph illustrates changes in wheat export by Australia, Canada, and the European Community within a five-year period - from 1985 to 1990. Overall, what stands out of the graph is that wheat export by the European Community increased over the period, whereas Australia witnessed a gradual decrease in the period considered. Although wheat exports of the three areas fluctuated, Canada had the highest oscillations throughout the interim. One of the first things to note is that Canada was the country whose wheat exportation comprised nearly 20 million tons in 1985. In the following year, the rate of export fell and then quickly recovered reaching a peak of 25 million tons in 1988. However, this figure fluctuated over the years, finishing surprisingly the same as it was at the starting point. European Community initially exported less than Canada, but its outcome turned out more than the other two countries at the final point- over 20 tons. In contrast to the other two areas, Australia exported 15 tons in 1985 and saw a slight decrease over the period except in 1986.
The line graph illustrates
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changes
in
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wheat
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export
by Australia, Canada, and the European Community within a five-year
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period
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
from 1985 to 1990.
Overall
, what stands out of the graph is that
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wheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
by the European Community increased
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over
the
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period
, whereas Australia witnessed a gradual decrease in the
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period
considered. Although
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wheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
of the three areas fluctuated, Canada had the highest oscillations throughout the interim.

One of the
first
things to note is that Canada was the country whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wheat
exportation comprised
nearly
20 million tons in 1985. In the following year, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
fell and then
quickly
recovered reaching a peak of 25 million tons in 1988.
However
, this figure fluctuated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years, finishing
surprisingly
the same as it was at the starting point.

European Community
initially
exported less than Canada,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its outcome turned out more than the other two countries at the final point-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
20 tons.
In contrast
to the other two areas, Australia exported 15 tons in 1985 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
except in 1986.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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