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The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. v.1

The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. v. 1
The line graph elucidates the wheat exportation of three regions, namely Canada, Australia and European community from 1985 to 1990. As can be seen, Canada was the leader in wheat trading till 1988 and after that, the European Community became the leading wheat exporter among the given regions. Initially, in 1985, Canada exported the highest quantity of wheat which was approximately 19 million tonnes. The wheat export in this year by the European Community was about 17 million tonnes and finally, 15 million tonnes of wheat was traded by Australia in this year. Next year, only Australia managed to export more wheat than the previous year's quantity, while it declined in the case of Canada and the European Community. In the next two years (1987 and 1988) the amount of wheat exported by Canada rocketed and reached to 25 million tonnes while it was 15 million tonnes for the European Community and far less for Australia.   In 1989, the amount of wheat export by Canada dropped very sharply while it was quite the opposite for the European Community. The final year's export figure shows that European Community shipped just over 20 million tonnes of wheat compared to Canada's just below 20 million tonnes. In this year Australia consigned just over 10 million tonnes of wheat.
The line graph elucidates the
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wheat
exportation of three regions,
namely
Canada, Australia and European
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community
from 1985 to 1990. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, Canada was the leader in
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wheat
trading till 1988 and after that, the European
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Community
became the leading
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wheat
exporter among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
regions.

Initially
, in 1985, Canada exported the highest quantity of
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wheat
which was approximately 19
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million
tonnes. The
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wheat
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export
in this
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year
by the European
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Community
was about 17
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million
tonnes and
finally
, 15
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million
tonnes of
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wheat
was traded
by Australia in this
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year
.
Next
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year
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Australia managed to
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export
more
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wheat
than the previous year's quantity, while it declined in the case of Canada and the European
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Community
. In the
next
two years (1987 and 1988) the amount of
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wheat
exported by Canada rocketed and reached to 25
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million
tonnes while it was 15
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million
tonnes for the European
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Community
and far less for Australia.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In 1989, the amount of
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wheat
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export
by Canada dropped
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very
sharply
while it was quite the opposite for the European
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Community
. The final year's
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export
figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that European
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Community
shipped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 20
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million
tonnes of
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wheat
compared to Canada's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 20
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million
tonnes. In this
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year
Australia consigned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes of
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wheat
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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