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The pie charts show the percentage of car ownership by make in three countries in 2015. Summarise the information by select and report the main features, and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The pie charts show the percentage of car ownership by make in three countries in 2015.
The given pie charts compare the proportion of car ownership by carmakers in the USA, Canada, and the UK in 2015 It is clearly seen that in the USA, Volkswagen Group’s cars were the most used during 2015 representing 20. 7% of the total car ownership. At 13, 2%, Ford Motor Company’s models were the second most popular while General Motor followed right behind with 11% of total car used in the USA. In addition, Renault-Nissan Alliance, BMW-Mini, and PSA accounted for 9. 3%, 8. 2%, and 8. 2% respectively and the remains market share, just over 37% was contributed by other car makes, namely Hyundai-Kia, Daimler, Toyota, FCA, Jaguar-Land Rover, Honda, and other manufacturers. During the same period, car ownership in Canada showed similarities to the USA’s market share with General Motors and Ford Motor Company placed number 1 and 2 which accounted for 30. 1%. Compared to USA data, Toyota Motor Corporation had bigger market share in Canada which represented 14. 8% of car ownership and successfully placed number 3 as the third most car make. Next, FCA / Chrysler Group, Honda Motor Company, and Nissan Motor Company positioned 4th, 5th, and 6th with the total market share around 30% while other car manufacturers made up the remains percentage of car ownership. UK’s car ownership depicted similarities to both USA’s and Canada’s with General Motors, Ford Motor Company, and General Motors placed the top three of car ownership accounting for almost 45%. Then, Hyundai-Kia, Toyota Motor Corporation, and Honda Motor Company followed by sitting in the 4th, 5th, and 6th position with market share 12. 5%, 9. 5%, and 8. 5% in a row. In Addition, another 24% market share was made up by other brands.
The
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given
pie charts compare the proportion of
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car
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ownership
by carmakers in the USA, Canada, and the UK in 2015

It is
clearly
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seen
that in the USA, Volkswagen Group’s
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cars
were the most
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used
during 2015 representing 20. 7% of the total
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car
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ownership
. At 13, 2%, Ford
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Motor
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Company’s
models were the second most popular while General
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Motor
followed right behind with 11% of total
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car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the USA.
In addition
, Renault-Nissan Alliance, BMW-Mini, and PSA accounted for 9. 3%, 8. 2%, and 8. 2%
respectively
and the remains
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market
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share
,
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just
over 37%
was contributed
by
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other
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car
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makes
,
namely
Hyundai-Kia, Daimler, Toyota, FCA, Jaguar-Land Rover, Honda, and
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other
manufacturers.

During the same period,
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car
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ownership
in Canada
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showed
similarities to the USA’s
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market
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share
with General
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Motors
and Ford
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Motor
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Company
placed number 1 and 2 which accounted for 30. 1%. Compared to USA data, Toyota
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Motor
Corporation had bigger
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market
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share
in Canada which represented 14. 8% of
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car
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ownership
and
successfully
placed number 3 as the third most
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car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.
Next
, FCA / Chrysler Group, Honda
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Motor
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Company
, and Nissan
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Motor
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Company
positioned 4th, 5th, and 6th with the total
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market
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share
around 30% while
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other
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car
manufacturers made up the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "remains'" or "'s"?
remains
percentage of
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car
ownership.

UK’s
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car
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ownership
depicted similarities to both USA’s and Canada’s with General
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Motors
, Ford
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Motor
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Company
, and General
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Motors
placed the top three of
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car
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ownership
accounting for almost 45%. Then, Hyundai-Kia, Toyota
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Motor
Corporation, and Honda
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Motor
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Company
followed by sitting in the 4th, 5th, and 6th position with
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market
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share
12. 5%, 9. 5%, and 8.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
5%
in a row.
In Addition
, another 24%
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market
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share
was made
up by
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other
brands.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS academic The pie charts show the percentage of car ownership by make in three countries in 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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