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The line graph below shows the changes in the price of Outokumpu companies in euros between January 2006 and December 2010 v.2

The line graph below shows the changes in the price of Outokumpu companies in euros between January 2006 and December 2010 v. 2
The given line chart illustrates the Outokumpu firms’ share value in Euros between January 2016 and December 2010 Overall, the value of companies share was in its great performance for over first two years, moreover, it reached its peak price. However, it then sharply dropped to its lowest level, before it saw a gradual increase and a small fluctuation. To begin, in 2016, the price of Outokumpu companies share stood at 13. However, over 2016, there was a significant increase and reaching a peak of 32. It was then followed by a gradual decrease to 21 in 2008. Next, the value of share rose progressively to 30, before it declined dramatically and hit a low of 8 in 2009. There was a moderate increase for over six months of 2019 which was rising around 7 Euro from 8 to 15. Then, Middle of 2009 to 2010 saw a fluctuation in the price of share which its value was between 12 and 18 euro.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line chart illustrates the
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Outokumpu
firms’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
in Euros between January 2016 and December 2010

Overall
, the
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value
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
was in its great performance for over
first
two years,
moreover
, it reached its peak price.
However
, it then
sharply
dropped to its lowest level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual increase and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fluctuation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, in 2016, the price of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Outokumpu
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
stood at 13.
However
, over 2016, there was a significant increase and reaching a peak of 32. It was then followed by a gradual decrease to 21 in 2008.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
rose
progressively
to 30,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it declined
dramatically
and hit a low of 8 in 2009. There was a moderate increase for over six months of 2019 which was rising around 7 Euro from 8 to 15. Then, Middle of 2009 to 2010
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fluctuation in the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
which its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
was between 12 and 18
Possible agreement error. The noun 'euro' seems to be countable, so consider using: "euros".
euro
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the changes in the price of Outokumpu companies in euros between January 2006 and December 2010 v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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