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The pie charts give information about the farming products in two various areas of the country. The percentage of 4 products varied in 2 regions. v.2

The pie charts give information about the farming products in two various areas of the country. The percentage of 4 products varied in 2 regions. v. 2
In eastern region, farmer produce nearly similar percentage of 4 products. meat accounted for 35% of the production. dairy placed second with 30% and vegetables rank third with 20%. The lowest proportion belonged to grain with 15% of total production. There was a big difference between the agricultural production in Western region. In contrast with eastern one, grain made up the largest percentage with 45% in the West. There was also 35% of meat produced in this area while dairy ratio was only 15%. The proportion of vegetables was the lowest of only 5%. In general, meat and grain were 2 main agricultural products in both area whilst vegetables and dairy production were almost the same or lower.
In eastern region, farmer produce
nearly
similar percentage of 4 products.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
meat
accounted for 35% of the production.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
dairy
placed second with 30% and vegetables rank third with 20%. The lowest proportion belonged to grain with 15% of total production.

There was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between the agricultural production in Western region.
In contrast
with eastern one, grain made up the largest percentage with 45% in the West. There was
also
35% of meat produced in this area while dairy ratio was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%. The proportion of vegetables was the lowest of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%.

In general
, meat and grain were 2 main agricultural products in both area whilst vegetables and dairy production were almost the same or lower.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie charts give information about the farming products in two various areas of the country. The percentage of 4 products varied in 2 regions. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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