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The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v.6

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v. 6
Pie charts supplied reveal information about the units of electricity production in two countries - Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Five kinds of fuel sources namely coal, oil, natural gas, hydropower and nuclear power were used for producing electricity in these two countries. To begin with, the main source of power in Australia was coal and it produced 50 units of electricity in 1980 which was half of the total production. Natural gas and hydropower were used to generate 40 units of electricity in this year. After 20 years there was a rapid increase in the usage of coal that generated 130 units among the total 170 units. However, there was a gradual fall on the usages of natural gas and oil as it supplied tiny fractions of the total electricity produced this year in Australia. On the contrary in France coal, natural gas and oil were mainly used to produce necessary electric power while in later years the use of nuclear power increases tremendously. While only 15 units of electricity were generated using this source in 1980, it increased to 126 in 2000. Use of hydropower and natural gas was being replaced by this new energy source.
Pie charts supplied reveal information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
production in two countries
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Five kinds of fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
namely
coal, oil,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, hydropower and nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in these two countries.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in Australia was coal and it produced 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in 1980 which was half of the total production.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
and hydropower were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to generate 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
20 years there was a rapid increase in the usage of coal that generated 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
among the total 170
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
However
, there was a gradual fall on the usages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
and oil as it supplied tiny fractions of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
produced this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in Australia.

On the contrary
in France coal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
and oil were
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce necessary electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
while in later years the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
increases
tremendously
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
were generated
using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
in 1980, it increased to 126 in 2000.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of hydropower and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
was
being replaced
by this new energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS academic The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v. 6

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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