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The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v. 5
The presented pie charts reveal units of electricity produced by fuel source in Australia and France in two different years, 1980 and 2000. In general, coal was the main source for electricity production in Australia and nuclear power replaces other fuel sources in France in 2000. Looking at the details, in 1980 coal accounted exactly a half of the electricity production in Australia, 50 out of 100 units. Yet, the oil source was true as the smallest proportion, only 10 units of 100 units. Meanwhile, in France, coal and natural gas were noticed as main sources of electricity, they both generated 25 units each out of 90 units. In contrast, hydropower shaped a tiny proportion, only 5 out of 90 units. Furthermore, in 2000, electricity produced from coal resource rose dramatically in Australia; it accounted 130 out 170 units and exactly was the biggest proportion among other sources, while natural gas and nuclear power produced lower electricity than in 1980. It was only 4 units of both. In contrast, in France, nuclear power was the biggest electricity sources. It amassed 126 out of 180 units, nearly 3 quarters. Meanwhile, electricity from natural gas decreased significantly, only 2 units out of 180 units.
The presented pie charts reveal
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units
of
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electricity
produced by fuel
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source
in Australia and France in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years, 1980 and 2000.
In general
, coal was the main
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source
for
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electricity
production in Australia and nuclear power replaces other fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
in France in 2000.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 1980 coal accounted exactly a half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
production in Australia, 50 out of 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
Yet
, the oil
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source
was true as the smallest proportion,
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only
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
of 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
. Meanwhile, in France, coal and natural gas
were noticed
as main
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sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, they both generated 25
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units
each out of 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
In contrast
, hydropower shaped a tiny proportion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
5 out of 90 units.

Furthermore
, in 2000,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
produced from coal resource rose
dramatically
in Australia; it accounted 130 out 170
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and exactly was the biggest proportion among other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, while natural gas and nuclear power produced lower
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electricity
than in 1980. It was
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only
4
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units
of both.
In contrast
, in France, nuclear power was the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. It amassed 126 out of 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
,
nearly
3 quarters. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
from natural gas decreased
significantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
out of 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. v. 5

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
202 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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