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The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university v.2

The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university v. 2
The pie charts illustrate how many journal articles are read by all students, PHD students and junior lecturers at a university in Australia. Overall, it can be seen that PHD students read more number of articles than other groups. Furthermore, majority of students read no more than 5 articles per week while most of the junior lecturers read between 6 to 11 articles. The majority of students were found reading 1 to 5 articles per week which accounted for 67%. However, this figure was significantly lower among PHD students and junior teachers which was 5% and 1% respectively. Surprisingly, 75% of junior lecturers read between 6 to 11 journal articles in a week. On the other hand, the percentage of doctorates students who read more than 12 journal articles within a week was significantly higher, at 80%. Meanwhile, among other students and junior lecturers, these figures accounted for 12% and 24% respectively.
The pie charts illustrate how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
journal
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articles
are
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read
by all
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students
,
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
PHD
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students
and
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junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturers
at a university in Australia.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
PHD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
than other groups.
Furthermore
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
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students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
no more than 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
per week while most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 6 and 11".
between 6 to 11
articles.

The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were found
reading 1 to 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
per week which accounted for 67%.
However
, this figure was
significantly
lower among
The more common abbreviation of the term 'philosophiae doctor' is "PhD".
PHD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
teachers which was 5% and 1%
respectively
.
Surprisingly
, 75% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 6 and 11".
between 6 to 11
journal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
in a week.

On the other hand
, the percentage of doctorates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
more than 12 journal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
articles
within a week was
significantly
higher, at 80%. Meanwhile, among other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecturers
, these figures accounted for 12% and 24%
respectively
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students PhD students and junior lecturers at an Australian university v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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