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The line graph below shows the household recycling rates in three different countries between 2005 and 2015. v.1

The line graph below shows the household recycling rates in three different countries between 2005 and 2015. v. 1
The given line graph compares the proportion of domestic waste recycling in the UK, France and Germany from 2005 to 2015. Overall, the recycling rates in the UK and Germany increased over the period while it actually decreased in France. According to the given illustration, the household recycling rate in France was 50% in 2005 which was approximately 13% and 30% higher than that of the UK and Germany respectively. After four years, recycling quotient in these three countries stood at around 40% and the pace actually increases during this period both in Germany and the UK while it dropped in France.   The recycling rate in France kept on falling and in 2013 it recycled around 30% household garbage. In the meantime, the recycling rate in Germany and the UK continually improved and both countries recycled over 50% wastages in 2013. In the final year, the household recycling rate in France went high than that of 2013 and stood at 40%. In this year household recycling ratio in the UK was highest, over 60% and in Germany, it was around 58%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph compares the proportion of domestic waste
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recycling
in the UK, France and Germany from 2005 to 2015.
Overall
, the
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recycling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in the UK and Germany increased over the period while it actually decreased in France.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration, the
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household
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recycling
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rate
in France was 50% in 2005 which was approximately 13% and 30% higher than that of the UK and Germany
respectively
. After four years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
quotient in these three countries stood at around 40% and the pace actually increases during this period both in Germany and the UK while it dropped in France.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
The
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recycling
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rate
in France
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kept
on falling and in 2013 it recycled around 30%
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household
garbage. In the meantime, the
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recycling
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rate
in Germany and the UK
continually
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improved
and both countries recycled over 50%
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastages
in 2013. In the final year, the
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household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
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rate
in France went
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
high
than that of 2013 and stood at 40%.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this year
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household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
ratio in the UK was highest, over 60% and in Germany, it was around 58%.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the household recycling rates in three different countries between 2005 and 2015. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
182 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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