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The pie chart below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in the UK in 2002. v.1

The pie chart below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in the UK in 2002. v. 1
The pie chart outlines the percentages of poor family types in the United Kingdom in 2002. Generally speaking, 14% British households were insolvent in 2002 and half of those poor families were sole parents and singles without any child. As can be seen, 26% sole parents in the United Kingdom were economically insolvent in 2002 and this was the highest ratio for the poor British family types. Poverty was prevalent among the singles without children as 24% of them were under the poverty line. These two types of households accounted for half of the total poverty-stricken families in the UK in 2002. Couples with children had greater poverty rate than couples without children. While the 15% former family types witnessed economic misfortune, the latter accounted for 9% of such households. It is worth noticing that ages British had fewer poverty rates than their younger counterparts. One in twenty aged couples had to go through financial hardships while it was 7% for the single aged person.
The pie chart outlines the percentages of poor
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family
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types
in the United Kingdom in 2002.
Generally
speaking, 14% British households were insolvent in 2002 and half of those poor
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families
were sole parents and singles without any child.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, 26% sole parents in the United Kingdom were
economically
insolvent in 2002 and this was the highest ratio for the poor British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
.
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Poverty
was prevalent among the singles without children as 24% of them were under the
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poverty
line. These two
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types
of households accounted for half of the total poverty-stricken
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families
in the UK in 2002.

Couples with children had greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rate than couples without children. While the 15% former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
witnessed economic misfortune, the latter accounted for 9% of such households. It is worth noticing that ages British had fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rates than their younger counterparts. One in twenty aged couples had to go through financial hardships while it was 7% for the single aged person.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The pie chart below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in the UK in 2002. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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