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The number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003 is presented below. v.2

The number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003 is presented below. v. 2
The line graph compares the number of visitors in Malaysia and Dubai between 1995 and 2003. Both these countries received more tourists in 2003 than they did in 1995 and Dubai’s share of travellers went higher than that of Malaysia despite a reverse scenario in early years. According to the illustration, the number of tourists who visited Malaysia in 1995 was 0. 1 million, more than double than that of Dubai. The visitors in Malaysia kept on increasing very swiftly till 2000 when it attracted more than a quarter tourists. On the contrary, Dubai, despite a decline in 1996, managed to attract more vacationers and had almost the same number of people visiting there in 2000 as it was in Malaysia. Next year, both of their tourists’ number went up but afterwards Dubai had been more successful in getting more visitors than Malaysia did. In 2003, four hundred thousand people travelled to Dubai, an overwhelming rise than that of 1995, while Malaysia managed to attract fewer than 250 thousand vacationers, which was roughly 2. 5 times than that of 1995.
The line graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors in Malaysia and Dubai between 1995 and 2003. Both these countries received more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in 2003 than they did in 1995 and Dubai’s share of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
went higher than that of Malaysia despite a reverse scenario in early years.

According to the illustration, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who visited Malaysia in 1995 was 0. 1 million, more than double than that of Dubai. The visitors in Malaysia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
swiftly
till 2000 when it attracted more than a quarter
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "tourist"?
tourists
.
On the contrary
, Dubai, despite a decline in 1996, managed to attract more vacationers and had almost the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting there in 2000 as it was in Malaysia.
Next
year, both of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
went up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
afterwards Dubai had been more successful in getting more visitors than Malaysia did. In 2003, four hundred thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelled to Dubai, an overwhelming rise than that of 1995, while Malaysia managed to attract fewer than 250 thousand vacationers, which was roughly 2. 5
Use "(times)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
times
than that of 1995.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003 is presented below. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
180 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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