Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The number of International visitors going to Australia continues to grow, making the Australian government very aware of the importance of its tourism industry. The chart below shows the spending pattern of these visitors while they are in Australia. v.2

The number of International visitors going to Australia continues to grow, making the Australian government very aware of the importance of its tourism industry. The chart below shows the spending pattern of these visitors while they are in Australia. v. 2
The charts compared the expenses of many tourists come to Australia between 1997 and 1999. Overall, there was an increase in wasting for both education fee and food, drink, and accommodation while the proportion of visitors for shopping saw a decrease over 3 years. It can be seen from the graphs that the percentage of shopping, chosen by the number of international tourists saw a moderate fall in unusual, 24% and 23% and 20% respectively. Besides, this was the same as transport. 10% of the spending transport of these visitors before it grew slightly to 11% and kept this data in the next year. On the other hand, food, drink, and accommodation was the most paying of these travellers before rising moderately each year, 34% and 37% and 39% respectively. This was the same as the education fee. Starting at 10% and then, it was a slight increase of 1% each year. Meanwhile, the proportion of organized tour saw a remain stable for 3 years, with 5%. In conclusion, the amount spent in each category has not changed very over three years.
The charts compared the expenses of
many
tourists
come
to Australia between 1997 and 1999.
Overall
, there was an increase in wasting for both education fee and food, drink, and accommodation while the proportion of visitors for shopping
saw
a decrease over 3 years.

It can be
seen
from the graphs that the percentage of shopping, chosen by the number of international tourists
saw
a moderate fall in unusual, 24% and 23% and 20%
respectively
.
Besides
, this was the same as transport. 10% of the spending transport of these visitors
before
it grew
slightly
to 11% and
kept
this data in the
next
year.

On the other hand
, food, drink, and accommodation was the most paying of these
travellers
before
rising
moderately
each
year
, 34% and 37% and 39%
respectively
. This was the same as the education fee. Starting at 10% and then, it was a slight increase of 1% each
year
. Meanwhile, the proportion of organized tour
saw
a remain
stable for 3 years, with 5%.

In conclusion
, the amount spent in each category has not
changed
very
over three years.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The number of International visitors going to Australia continues to grow, making the Australian government very aware of the importance of its tourism industry. The chart below shows the spending pattern of these visitors while they are in Australia. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts