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The maps below give information about a school site in 2004 and the planning of the same school in 2010 v.2

The maps below give information about a school site in 2004 and the planning of the same school in 2010 v. 2
The maps illustrate data on a school site in 2004 and some proposed changes to the school in 2010. It is clear that the principal changed to the school was the expand of some buildings while it is also noticeable that the trees were remained untouched. Looking at the maps of Hogwarts grammar school, as it was 2010, we can clearly see that a new car park was constructed which was located in the North west. In addition the main road which leaded to the outside in 2004, was redesigned to connect the two car parks together. In 2010, the sport field was reduced in size to make room for the extension of the school buildings which was divided into three sections in 2007. The walking path from the school building to the sport field had been demolished in order to build a new path to connect all of the school buildings
The maps illustrate data on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
site in 2004 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proposed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 2010.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the principal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'expand' is correct. If 'expand' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the expand
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
while it is
also
noticeable that the trees
were remained
untouched.

Looking at the maps of Hogwarts grammar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, as it was 2010, we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that a new car park
was constructed
which
was located
in the North west. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the main road which leaded to the outside in 2004,
was redesigned
to connect the two car parks together.

In 2010, the sport field was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in size to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for the extension of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which
was divided
into three sections in 2007. The walking path from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
to the sport field had
been demolished
in order to build a new path to connect
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
buildings
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The maps below give information about a school site in 2004 and the planning of the same school in 2010 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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