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You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter explain why you would like the jobgive details of why you woul v.6

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter explain why you would like the jobgive details of why you woul v. 6
Dear Mr. Green, I am writing with the reference to your ad for someone to take care of your child in Sydney. I feel interested in the job because it best suits me during my visit to Australia next week. I will be staying in Sydney from 1st May to 30th November 2020 for my 6-month diploma. During this period, I would have to do some part-time job to earn my bread and butter. As it is a weekend program, I will be free on other weekdays. So, I will be able to take care of the child for other weekdays. Moreover, I am a child-friendly person and I am sure your little one will love my company. As I mention, I love to spend time with children, I can also offer to teach some language skills. In this way, we can best spend our time. I am so much concerned about child security and I would make sure proper child safety. After employing me you would not have to worry about his homework and outdoor activities. I will be coming to Sydney on 1st May and my Computer Diploma classes will start on the 3rd of May, but they will only happen on weekends, specifically, Sundays. Other free time I will be utilizing in practicing my learnings, and writing online articles and blogs, which I can do from home on my laptop. I am awaiting your earliest response. Yours Sincerely, Wajeeha Umer
Dear Mr. Green,

I am writing with the reference to your ad for someone to take care of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in Sydney. I feel interested in the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it best suits me during my visit to Australia
next
week.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will be staying in Sydney from 1st May to 30th November 2020 for my 6-month diploma. During this period, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part-time job to earn my bread and butter. As it is a weekend program, I will be free on other weekdays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will be able to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
for other weekdays.
Moreover
, I am a child-friendly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
I am sure your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

As I mention, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to spend time with children, I can
also
offer to teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In this way, we can best spend our time. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much concerned about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
security and I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
safety. After employing me you would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about his homework and outdoor activities.

I will be coming to Sydney on 1st May and my Computer Diploma classes will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
on the 3rd of May,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen on weekends,
specifically
, Sundays. Other free time I will be utilizing in practicing my learnings, and writing online articles and blogs, which I can do from home on my laptop.

I am awaiting your earliest response.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Wajeeha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Umer
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter explain why you would like the jobgive details of why you woul v. 6

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
242 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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