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The map below is of the town of Garlsdon and shows two possible sites for a new supermarket. v.2

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon and shows two possible sites for a new supermarket. v. 2
The map illustrates two probable placements of a new superstore in a town designated as Garlsdon with the population of 65, 000. Overall, neither site is appropriate for all the towns, however, for customers from Cransdon, Hindon and Garlsdon, the site in the suburb (s1) would presumably propose more benefits. The initial location (s1) is feasible as it will be situated out of town which is just off the main road to the town of Hindon, about 12 Kilometers to the north-west. Being out of the city it would be able to facilitate more car parking along with providing access to the high number of shoppers travelling via car from both Hindon and Garlsdon. Similarly, it is also located close to the railway line connecting two towns to Cransdon with the only distance of 25 Km to the south-east, this ensures numerous customers would also be able to approach the supermarket via train. On the contrary, the second probable site, s2 is right in the town centre, which will facilitate only the local inhabitants. Location wise, the superstore could be accessed via road or rail nearby yet the site possesses the threat of traffic congestion.
The map illustrates two probable placements of a new superstore in a
town
designated as
Garlsdon
with the population of 65, 000.

Overall
, neither
site
is appropriate for all the
towns
,
however
, for customers from
Cransdon
,
Hindon
and
Garlsdon
, the
site
in the suburb (s1) would presumably propose more benefits.

The initial location (s1) is feasible as it will
be situated
out of
town
which is
just
off the main road to the
town
of
Hindon
, about 12 Kilometers to the north-west. Being out of the city it would be able to facilitate more car parking along with providing access to the high number of shoppers travelling via car from both
Hindon
and
Garlsdon
.
Similarly
, it is
also
located close to the railway line connecting two
towns
to
Cransdon
with the
only
distance of 25 Km to the south-east, this ensures numerous customers would
also
be able to approach the supermarket via train.

On the contrary
, the second probable
site
, s2 is right in the
town
centre
, which will facilitate
only
the local inhabitants. Location wise, the superstore could
be accessed
via road or rail nearby
yet
the
site
possesses the threat of traffic congestion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
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IELTS academic The map below is of the town of Garlsdon and shows two possible sites for a new supermarket. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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