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The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014 v.2

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014 v. 2
The line graph details the amount of money that was spent in the bakery over 12 months from January 2014 to December 2014. Three kinds of Bakery’s sales are detailed. & nbsp; Focusing on money that was paid for pies, it started with the lowest amount in the year at $10000. However, that quantity steadily increased until December when accounted for exactly $40000. Looking at bread and buns sales, the money spent in both bakery did not follow a clear pattern. Bread accounted for $80000 in January. Following this, values went down and went& nbsp; up through the year. On the other hand, bun’s sales showed $40000 in the first month, that value increased over 4 months. In contrast, sales decreased until December when reported $30000. Overall, it is clear for the data that, pies’ sales can be predicted& nbsp; over time. Another interesting pattern is that bread’s sales were the most popular bakery during 2014 and the value of its sales always was between 4 and 8 times higher than pies’ sales. & nbsp;
The line graph
details
the amount of money that
was spent
in the bakery over 12 months from January 2014 to December 2014. Three kinds of Bakery’s
sales
are detailed
.
&amp
;
nbsp
;

Focusing on money that
was paid
for pies, it
started
with the lowest amount in the year at $10000.
However
, that quantity
steadily
increased until December when accounted for exactly $40000.

Looking at bread and buns
sales
, the money spent in both bakery did not follow a
clear
pattern. Bread accounted for $80000 in January. Following this, values went down and
went&amp
;
nbsp
; up through the year.
On the other hand
, bun’s
sales
showed
$40000 in the
first
month, that value increased over 4 months.
In contrast
,
sales
decreased until December when reported $30000.

Overall
, it is
clear
for the data that, pies’
sales
can be
predicted&amp
;
nbsp
; over time. Another interesting pattern is that bread’s
sales
were the most popular bakery during 2014 and the value of its
sales
always was between 4 and 8 times higher than pies’
sales
.
&amp
;
nbsp
;
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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