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The line graph shows the percentage of people of different age groups and how they rate a set of factors in terms of importance when buying a new home Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where releva v.2

The line graph shows the percentage of people of different age groups and how they rate a set of factors in terms of importance when buying a new home
The given linear representation shows the proportion of the people rating based on certain aspects like School, Parks and many more during purchasing a new home. Here, The graph describes data by different age group. As clearly seen from the graph, people whose age is between 25 to 34 years give less preference to park and public transport about below half of the 25 percent. Moving further, those tendencies will be increased when line reach at age group between 55 to 64 years. Moreover, considering the education; people whose age between 25 to 34, those give more priority to school and the trajectory of it would be sharply declined from age group 35 to 44. Furthermore, Shopping facilities are not essential for intial group and rating of it almost 12 percentage, however after the age group of 35 to 44 shopping trend substantially increased and culminated to almost 30 percent. Moving to the crime rate, it is a subtle variance in rating for all age group between the 75 to 100 percent. Overall, First age group more concern about school, whereas other groups consider other facilities like transport, parks and shopping. Crime rate is a significant concern for all groups but, first group is much care about it with a lower percentage.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
linear representation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the proportion of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rating based on certain aspects like School, Parks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more during purchasing a new home. Here, The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
data by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

As
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 25 and 34".
between 25 to 34
years give less preference to park and public transport about below half of the 25 percent. Moving
further
, those tendencies will
be increased
when line reach at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 55 and 64".
between 55 to 64
years.
Moreover
, considering the education;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 25 and 34".
between 25 to 34
, those give more priority to school and the trajectory of it would be
sharply
declined from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
35 to 44.

Furthermore
, Shopping facilities are not essential for
Possible spelling mistake found.
intial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and rating of it almost 12 percentage,
however
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 35 to 44 shopping
Possible agreement error. The noun 'trend' seems to be countable, so consider using: "trends".
trend
substantially
increased and culminated to almost 30 percent. Moving to the crime rate, it is a subtle variance in rating for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
between the 75 to 100 percent.

Overall
,
First
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
more concern about school, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
consider other facilities like transport, parks and shopping. Crime rate is a significant concern for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is much care about it with a lower percentage.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The line graph shows the percentage of people of different age groups and how they rate a set of factors in terms of importance when buying a new home

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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