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The chart below shows the number of visitors to the main attractions in a Europe country between 1981 and 2001. v.2

The chart below shows the number of visitors to the main attractions in a Europe country between 1981 and 2001. v. 2
The bar chart compares the number of passengers visiting five different tourist attractions in Europe nations in two years, namely 1981 and 2001. In general, there were a small changes in the number of people who visit the central amusement park, the national park, and the national gallery. In particular, the number of people visiting the central amusement park was more common than any other tourist attraction. In 1981, the central amusement park accounted for 25 thousand of the total of visitors in this country, while the figure for the national park was lower, at 10 thousand. At the same time, 7 thousand people visited the science park and the national gallery, while the figure for the central zoo was lower, at 5 thousand. Over the next ten years, Europe underwent a slight decline of 5 thousand in the number of people visiting the central amusement park, but then increased slightly in 2001. On the other hand, the period from 1981 to 2001 saw the number of visitors going to the national park rise by nearby to 20 thousand. Similarly, the figure for the national gallery underwent a same trend, with the figure increasing to 20 thousand at the end of the period when. Finally, the figures for the science park and the central zoo remained unchanged from 1981 until 2001 (at roundly 5 thousand).
The bar chart compares the
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number
of passengers visiting five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tourist attractions in Europe nations in two years,
namely
1981 and 2001.

In general
, there were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, the
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national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
gallery.

In particular
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was more common than any other tourist attraction.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1981, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
accounted for 25 thousand of the total of visitors in this country, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was lower, at 10 thousand. At the same time, 7 thousand
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people
visited the science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
gallery, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
zoo was lower, at 5 thousand.

Over the
next
ten years, Europe underwent a slight decline of 5 thousand in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then increased
slightly
in 2001.
On the other hand
, the period from 1981 to 2001
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
rise by nearby to 20 thousand.

Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
gallery underwent a same trend, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
increasing to 20 thousand at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period when.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for the science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
zoo remained unchanged from 1981 until 2001 (at
roundly
5 thousand).
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of visitors to the main attractions in a Europe country between 1981 and 2001. v. 2

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
225 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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