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The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. v.1

The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. v. 1
The line graph compares how many armed robberies, assaults and murders that happened in London from 2003 to 2012. Overall, the number of committed armed robberies decreased significantly over the entire period while assault cases increased. It is also noticeable that murder' s figure remained relatively stable. The recorded cases of armed robbery started at just under 3, 500 in 2003 then it rose slightly to peak at around 3, 700 in the following year. The figure dropped every year to hit a low of about 1, 500 in 2008 before climbing to approximately 1, 500 in 2012. With regard to assault cases, there were almost 2, 300 committed cases in 2003 which by far the highest overall, after which it fluctuated in the succeeding 5 years, when the lowest number of cases was noted, and subsequently rose to peak at roughly 2, 800 in the final year. Murder' s number hovered between just under 1, 000 and 500 cases throughout the period.
The line graph compares how
many
armed robberies, assaults and murders that happened in London from 2003 to 2012.

Overall
, the number of committed armed robberies decreased
significantly
over the entire period while assault cases increased. It is
also
noticeable that
murder&
#039; s figure remained
relatively
stable.

The recorded cases of armed robbery
started
at
just
under 3, 500 in 2003 then it rose
slightly
to peak at around 3, 700 in the following
year
. The figure dropped every
year
to hit a low of about 1, 500 in 2008
before
climbing to approximately 1, 500 in 2012.

With regard to assault cases, there were almost 2, 300 committed cases in 2003 which by far the highest
overall
, after which it fluctuated in the succeeding 5 years, when the lowest number of cases
was noted
, and
subsequently
rose to peak at roughly 2, 800 in the final
year
.
Murder&
#039; s number hovered between
just
under 1, 000 and 500 cases throughout the period.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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