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The line graph below shows the annual number of visits to Australia by overseas tourists. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the tourists came from. v.2

The line graph below shows the annual number of visits to Australia by overseas tourists. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the tourists came from. v. 2
The supplied infographics provide data on the number of tourists who visited Australia throughout a 30-year period of time from different countries. Australia was visited by 8. 8 million tourists in 1975. The majority of the tourists was from Japan and South Korea at 3. 2 and 2. 9 million people respectively in that year. The number of tourists to Australia was almost double of the figure of 1975 at 16 million 10 years later. The figure continued to increase significantly, and it reached nearly 24. 5 million tourists in 1995. At the end of the period of time, 2005, Australia was attended by over 30 million tourists from all over the globe; the main bulk of the tourists consisted of Japanese at 12 million, South Korean tourists came at the second place with 9. 1 million and Europeans were the third with 4. 5 million. The line graph indicates that Australia became an attractive destination for over the 30-year period of time since the number of tourists rocketed from 8. 8 million to 30. 4 million.
The supplied infographics provide data on the number of
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tourists
who visited Australia throughout a 30-year period of time from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

Australia
was visited
by 8. 8
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million
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tourists
in 1975. The majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
was from Japan and South Korea at 3. 2 and 2. 9
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
respectively
in that year.

The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to Australia was almost double of the figure of 1975 at 16
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million
10 years later. The figure continued to increase
significantly
, and it reached
nearly
24. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in 1995.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period of time, 2005, Australia
was attended
by over 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from all over the globe; the main bulk of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
consisted of Japanese at 12
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million
, South Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
came at the second place with 9. 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and Europeans were the third with 4. 5 million.

The line graph indicates that Australia became an attractive destination for over the 30-year period of time since the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
rocketed from 8. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to 30. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the annual number of visits to Australia by overseas tourists. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the tourists came from. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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