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The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia.
A glance at the bar chart reveals the percentage of various Australians visited zoo, library, theatre, and cinema. Ostensibly, the new migrants born in English-speaking territories have visited zoo 10 percent more than the people born in Australia and 23 percent more than the new migrants born in other countries. Moreover, the statistics indicate that cinema was the most popular location visited by diverse individuals. Surprisingly, the theatre was the place which was almost rarely visited by folks. The indices for people born in Australia and the new migrants born in other countries are 20 percent and 10 percent, respectively. In addition, the rate for the new migrants born in other countries who visited the zoo is approximately double compared to those who chose theatre to visit. Noticeably, only 20 percent of people who were born in Australia visited library whilst the percentage for the similar range of visitors for cinema was three times more. Overall, the information exposes the distinctive locations visited by different residents of Australia
A glance at the bar chart reveals the percentage of various Australians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
zoo, library,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, and cinema.

Ostensibly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in English-speaking territories have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
zoo 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
more than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
born in Australia and 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in other countries.
Moreover
, the statistics indicate that cinema was the most popular location
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
by diverse individuals.
Surprisingly
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
was the place which was almost rarely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
by folks. The indices for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
born in Australia and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in other countries are 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
,
respectively
.
In addition
, the rate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrants
born in other countries who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
the zoo is approximately double compared to those who chose
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
to visit.
Noticeably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were born
in Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
library whilst the percentage for the similar range of visitors for cinema was three times more.

Overall
, the information exposes the distinctive locations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
residents of Australia
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Australia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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