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The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. v.3

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. v. 3
The given line graph represents the consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers between 1975 to 2000; 25 years long gap. Here Pizza and hamburgers were continuously consumed more than the fish and chips which are consumed in high quantity in 1975, but after that, the rate fell down slowly. Firstly in 1975 Australian teenagers consumed fish and chips in high percentage which is about 100 times eaten, while on the other hand, the ratio of hamburgers and pizza in 1975 is just 5 times which depicts that their eating rate is less than the other one. After that from 1980 to 1985, Fish & chips eating ratio gets down as compared to pizza and hamburgers which show a high ratio in Australian teenagers. After 1985 to onwards, Proportion of fish and chips gets down and down in Australian teenagers while on the other hand Pizza and hamburgers become prominent and their eating percentage grow up on the top level. And finally one can say that hamburgers were taken high rank in eating as compared to others among the Australian teenagers. And the hamburger graph line is just above the remaining lines. So from this, we conclude that Australian teenagers were interested in fish and chips than others. While after few years they get interested in hamburgers mostly and also interested in pizza. This can clearly justify from the graph lines.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph represents the consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food by Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1975 and 2000".
between 1975 to 2000
; 25 years long gap. Here Pizza and hamburgers were
continuously
consumed more than the fish and chips which
are consumed
in
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high
quantity in 1975,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that, the rate fell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
slowly
.

Firstly
in 1975 Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
consumed fish and chips in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
percentage which is about 100 times eaten, while on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the ratio of hamburgers and pizza in 1975 is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5 times which depicts that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
rate is less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one. After that from 1980 to 1985, Fish & chips
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
ratio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
as compared to pizza and hamburgers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
ratio in Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

After 1985 to onwards, Proportion of fish and chips
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
down
in Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
while on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand Pizza and hamburgers become prominent and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
percentage grow up on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
. And
finally
one can say that hamburgers
were taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
rank in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
as compared to others among the Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. And the hamburger graph line is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above the remaining lines.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from this, we conclude that Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
were interested
in fish and chips than others. While after few years they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
interested in hamburgers
mostly
and
also
interested in pizza. This can
clearly
justify from the graph lines.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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