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The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. v.2

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. v. 2
The given line graph depicts the Australian teenagers’ habit of fast food consumption between 1975 and 2000 years. It can be seen from the graph that the popularity of hamburgers rose dramatically among the Australian teenagers whereas the fish and chips gradually decreased. According to the graph, in 1975, the fish and chips were very famous among the teenagers of Australia. Moreover, at that time, it was eaten almost 100 times per year. After that in 1980, the popularity of fish and chips decreased consistently; again it increased slightly in 1985. Then from 1985 to 2000 the demand for this fast food fell significantly: just under the 40 times eaten per year. On the other hand, it appears from the graph that the popularity of pizzas and hamburgers rose substantially.   Nevertheless, the demand for pizza was constant over a period of 1995 to 2000 and it was nearly eaten 85 times in a year. On the other side, the consumption rate of hamburgers exponentially increased from 1985 to 2000 and the number of eaten times per year was just above 100 times.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line
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graph
depicts the Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ habit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food consumption between 1975 and 2000 years. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
that the popularity of hamburgers rose
dramatically
among the Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
whereas the fish and chips
gradually
decreased.

According to the
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graph
, in 1975, the fish and chips were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
of Australia.
Moreover
, at that
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time
, it was
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eaten
almost 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. After that in 1980, the popularity of fish and chips decreased
consistently
; again it increased
slightly
in 1985. Then from 1985 to 2000 the demand for this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food fell
significantly
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under the 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
per year.

On the other hand
, it appears from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
that the popularity of pizzas and hamburgers rose
substantially
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Nevertheless
, the demand for pizza was constant over a period of 1995 to 2000 and it was
nearly
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eaten
85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. On the other side, the consumption rate of hamburgers
exponentially
increased from 1985 to 2000 and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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